Couples often enter my counselling room complaining of the maladies of life living with their partner or they indicate having a communication problem. They get caught in conflict, their dance of disconnection and the associated angst and distress that ensues.
Almost twenty years ago, psychologist Arthur Aron and colleagues conducted research to explore whether it was possible to help strangers create closeness and develop a relationship by asking a series of specific personal questions.
Couples are faced with many challenges and transitions throughout the course of their relationship. While it would be nice to have a crystal ball, there is no specific way of determining whether or not your relationship will last.
Our journey to understanding the underlying needs in couple relationships started with psychiatrist John Bowlby (1907-1990). He was a Freudian thinker, believing mental health or the lack of it, is derived in early childhood.