When all is said and done, where should you invest most of your time? Society demands that we strive to achieve goals like getting that sales bonus, achieving that MD position, winning best and fairest. While there is undoubtedly value in achievement, success without fulfilment is the ultimate failure. These goals are all about external validation, which rarely leads to deep satisfaction.
I woke this morning to the news of Chris Cornell’s death. It’s devastating to hear that this talented musician, one of the great architects of the grunge music scene ended his own life. It pains me more to know that every day in Australia around five men make the same decision.
The modern world demands much of a Mum. It asks that she perform her role at work as if she has no responsibilities outside of it. When at home, it asks her to parent and perform household duties as if she were not an employee or entrepreneur. And somewhere in between all the responsibilities of work, home and family life – she needs to make time for a relationship, too.
The world is obsessed by the ideals of romantic love. Couples everywhere struggle in their quest for passion, love and intimacy. The agonising truth is the course of love and the reality of an enduring relationship is complex. Without commitment, enduring the rollercoaster ride of transformation to intimacy, passion and love is impossible.
It’s almost Christmas. That means different things for each of us. For some there is a hankering for the relief that comes with time away from the merry-go-round of daily life. For others, there is the pressure and haste of finding the perfect Christmas present when all they long for is calm, serenity and presence. Others are reminded of the one’s they have lost. Many more fear the unfolding of relationship dramas that remind them how lost they feel in love.
Couples often enter my counselling room complaining of the maladies of life living with their partner or they indicate having a communication problem. They get caught in conflict, their dance of disconnection and the associated angst and distress that ensues.
I recently watched a TED talk about how falling in love is the easy part of developing a relationship by Mandy Len Catron. She is a writer that explores the dangers and pleasures of love stories through her blog The Love Story Project. It got me wondering whether or not the approach she talks about may be helpful for singles looking for love, or couples wanting to sustain their relationship, to develop greater intimacy or reconnect.
Summer is almost over. The world has completed New Year celebrations too. Throughout many would have made optimistic promises and resolutions. You may have started the year with the energy and drive to pursue your most idealistic aspirations. As the warmth of summer and the festive spirit fades, it may seem your brave ambitions have been lost along the way.