What to do when self-doubt gets in the way of creating change
Change is a constant. Throughout our lives some changes are normal and expected and others are unexpected. Sometimes the tools we have in our toolkit for life don't suit the present challenges.
As a counsellor my role is to help clients identify what other tools they might need to navigate the challenges and transitions of their lives and enhance their wellbeing and relationships along the way. I also am surrounded by a network of health and wellbeing professionals experienced in different aspects of change and with different tools and experience to draw on. So I have invited them to contribute to A thought in a series focused on change.
I'm starting with Janelle Ryan from Sky High Coaching. Here are Janelle's thoughts on change. I hope you'll find something that supports you in creating change in the landscape of your own life.
What do you believe are the biggest changes people seek in their lives?
As a Change Catalyst, most people I speak with wish to change their relationship status, the activity they undertake to create their income or their physical and emotional wellbeing. There are other areas, of course, but these three are the most common. There has been a shift away from making money to the detriment of relationships and health and a move towards a sense of purpose, making a difference in the world and building and nurturing healthy and loving relationships and family connections. I am finding this increasingly common with the main “bread winners” of the family who wish to find a role or create a business that supports their family financially but also allows time with them. Not only do they wish to spend more time with their children, they want to nurture their relationship with their partner.
Then there are those who have dedicated years to their business or career and have now realised they want to wake up next to someone they love each morning. They are so independent and self sufficient they wish to change their life into one that has room and space for someone else. As someone who married later in life, I know how much change is required emotionally and physically when it comes to being a part of a couple. Even more change was required when it came to marriage – who knew!?
When it comes to how they show up in the world, most people I speak with wish to feel and portray more confidence and break through the self doubt they experience when taking that next step towards something better. For example, more confidence when going on a date, giving the presentation at work or walking into a fitness centre for the first time. They wish to change how they feel about themselves on a day to day basis. Less fear and more confidence.
What do you do when you want to make change in your own life?
If I start to feel the slight twinge of envy around what someone else has, I explore that feeling. Do I want what that person has? Why do I want it? How will it enhance my life? If I decide that it is something I’d like to pursue I do quite a bit of research, and then develop a strategy to make it happen. I am also very aware that I do not have all the answers so I’m a great one at tracking down someone to help me. It its practical advice I need I’ll find a friend, mentor or coach. If it’s mindset work I’ll find a coach or counsellor who specialises in that area. Even though I am experienced, trained and qualified in coaching sometimes we need help too – it’s hard to see yourself when you’re the one in the frame.
How do you to help people create change in their lives?
I bring my passionate and enthusiastic nature, along with my unwavering belief in my clients, to each and every session. My clients tell me my level of genius is my ability to use my intuition and skills in assessing what isn’t being said and tapping into what is being communicated. I look behind the facade and bring forth my clients true inner most desires – even those they are not necessarily aware of themselves.
I believe the path to a fulfilling and blissful life is not merely about goal setting and achievement. I believe the underlying pursuit of every goal is the need to make the change required – this change could be physical, mental, emotional or relational. I work with my clients on busting through self doubt, creating more confidence and living a life they want to live, rather than one they think they should be living. I do this via my 3 and 6 month personal coaching programs and my 10 week online coaching course, Average to Ah-Mazing.
Where do you go for ideas and inspiration when developing a plan for change?
My clients! I understand it probably sounds a little cliché to say my clients have all the answers in them, but it is true. My role is to bring out all their dreams and desires and convert them into an actionable plan. Sometimes we can do this alone and sometimes we call on my team of experts to assist us. For example, my gorgeous Ah-Mazingers have been blessed to receive advice via interviews with a relationship counsellor such as you Jo, financial planners, naturopaths, dieticians, other coaches. There are so many incredible brains out there and if I think bringing that knowledge into my client’s world in will assist them then I will do so. But ultimately, my clients are the captains of their own change and I merely facilitate them through their transformation.
Janelle Ryan is a passionate and dedicated Change Catalyst and the founder of Sky High Coaching. She combines her background in travel, recreation and recruitment with her business and coaching qualifications to help dynamic go-getters create a life of clarity, freedom and confidence.
Her area of genius is helping her clients create precise and required change in their lives so they can move from feeling stuck and overwhelmed to empowered, confident and motivated. Her passionate and enthusiastic nature makes her a natural in working with clients who have already experienced success and are now committed to taking their lives to the next level. She does this working one on one through her 12 Week Transformation Program or her 6 Month Metamorphosis Program. She also helps her online community take their lives from feeling Average to Ah-Mazing via her online multimedia course. She believes everyone can take their life Sky High!
Check out Janelle's Free Online Presentation Saturday 28 May, 10am (Melbourne, Australia time) Cha Cha Through Change
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