Separation Discernment Counselling
Whether you are in a long-standing relationship or are newly committed, feeling uncertain about a relationship can be challenging. Choosing whether to stay or leave is one of the most complex and difficult decisions most people will ever make.
Separation Discernment Counselling
Whether you are in a long-standing relationship or are newly committed, feeling uncertain about a relationship can be challenging. Choosing whether to stay or leave is one of the most complex and difficult decisions most people will ever make.
What is Relationship Separation Discernment Counselling?
Discernment Counselling is a specialised form of therapy designed for couples, where one or both partners are uncertain or ambivalent about the future of their relationship. It is particularly helpful for couples contemplating separation or divorce but are unsure whether that’s the right decision.
Often, couples come to discernment counselling when they are stuck in a place of indecision, caught between the desire to preserve the relationship and the urge to break free from it. The focus is on helping couples develop clarity to make a decision and feel confident in knowing they are making that decision well.
"Discernment is the ability to obtain sharp perceptions or to judge well, with a deeper understanding and wisdom behind your choices."
How can Discernment Counselling can help?
Through a series of sessions, couples gain a deeper understanding of what each person wants and needs from the relationship, and what might be required for either option—whether that’s working on
- rebuilding and repair of the relationship or
- navigating a respectful and peaceful separation.
Ultimately, discernment counselling is about empowering partners to make a decision they can feel confident about, knowing that they’ve thoughtfully explored their options and considered the impact of their choice on themselves and their future.
It’s a process that honours the emotional complexity of relationships, to better understand yourself, your partner and the relationship dynamics that have contributed to feeling unsure about your commitment to the relationship. Being able to see the whole picture, provides the clarity needed to move forward with peace of mind, whatever decision you make.
How does Discernment Counselling differ from Couples Counselling?
Couples Counselling is focused on exploring how to resolve the problems in the relationship right away. In contrast discernment counselling provides a structured space for individuals to reflect on their needs, fears, and hopes for the future. It helps them understand whether they are truly committed to making the relationship work, or if they’ve reached a point where parting ways is the healthier option.
The primary goal of discernment counselling is to help both partners gain clarity around their feelings and options. Through this process, couples are supported in exploring the reasons behind their doubts and conflicts, without the pressure to immediately fix or reconcile the relationship. Instead, the focus is on helping them make a thoughtful, informed decision about whether they want to work on the relationship or if it's time to separate.
The goal of Separation Discernment Counselling is to:
- Clarify Options: Help both partners assess whether they want to work on the relationship or whether it’s time to part ways.
- Make Informed Decisions: Provide a safe space for individuals to explore their thoughts and emotions about staying in the relationship versus separating.
- Navigate Hurt and Conflict: Address the potential emotional pain of separation, especially if children or shared responsibilities are involved, with the goal of minimising damage to the relationship and future interactions.
- Develop a Plan: If the couple decides to work on the relationship, the counsellor can help create a plan to address the issues and needs that are contributing to the conflict.
Relationship Counsellor & Couples Therapist · Jo Gniel (she/her)
Jo (she/her) is an experienced Relationship Counsellor and Couples Therapist, ICEEFT Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT) and Supervises therapists learning EFT. In 2008, she founded landscape of life, dedicated to building human connection; helping people create healthy relationships and wellbeing in all aspects of life.
Jo's practice is grounded in person centred, humanistic attachment orientated Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT), Emotion Focused Therapy, Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), the principals and practices of Mindful-Self Compassion (MSC) and other frameworks tailored to resource you to respond to specific relationship dynamics.
Seperation Discernment Counselling in Melbourne or Online
IN PERSON (Glen Iris, Melbourne)
IN PERSON Relationship Counselling appointments are held in Glen Iris, Melbourne. If you are near me in the adjacent suburbs of Camberwell, Malvern, Malvern East, Chadstone, Carnegie, Canterbury, Hawthorn, Hawthorn East, Surrey Hills or other Inner Eastern suburbs of Melbourne or happy to travel from further afield we are located near the High Street exit of the Monash.
Online
ONLINE Relationship Counselling appointments are held via Zoom if you are based in regional, rural or remote parts of Victoria, Australia, US (after hours) Asia, Bangkok, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia, the Middle East, UK, Europe.
Resource library
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